I feel like a lot is asked of me
not by any specific person
but I feel stretched thin and I can’t focus on all these things at once I can’t do everything evven though I try so hard
I’m a little crazy and dysfunctional but I’m making it through college and I should be proud of myself
its not our responsibility to help other people in the community beanbean!
but I want to help people :(((
I hate DID i hate it a fucking lot
I don’t want to be affiliated with this disorder and I want it to go away
get msd at me vfor this? why? stop it stop stop
Would you like me to type correctly? Would you like me to display my intellectual capacity at its full pretentious volume? Then, do not dictate the way I speak. Do not tell me these things and do not make assumptions about the way my brain functions. This is entirely none of your business, and frankly, I loathe you. You that I generalize as you do me. Is this annoying? Good.
Do you think this is fabricated? Do you also think my panic attacks fabricated? I have an excellent solution: Do not be near me. I will suffer alone and in silence and I will die alone and you cannot stop me. I do not care what you think.
I am done with this. I am finished. I refuse to speak any longer and I believe I have taken steps backward since beginning this endeavor. I can no longer open my heart to my girlfriend and I am filled with doubt and denial. This is not the way I would like to function, but I am an addict. I am a masochist and a sadist and I truly believe that I am toxic.
I’m so fucking stupid I don’t hvve ANY disorders I don’t deserve treatemnt I’m just overreacting I don’t have these disorers I’m not disordered enough I don’t need to recpver because there’s nothing to recover from. I’m a poser and a liar and the self harm was illegitimate and I’m just lazy and restricting isn’t always an ED and I don’t have slters I don’t hve anything I’m just a baby I ‘m overeatceing I want to die but not enough to get help I just want to die because I’m selfish and useless and I’m tricking the people I love and I deservee to die
and this stupid post is probably for attention too it’s so I’ll feel more legitimate since I’m panicking. nope. no i’m the worst regardless.
shut up SHUT UP
I need distractions I need more therapy I need to get it fucking together blackouts are no excuse